I Don't KNow !!!

If I don’t write right now; I will never be able to write it again in my life. Some moments in life can only be kept inside human’s heart. They cannot be revealed or shown. Such is the condition of Life. In fact, ‘Such is Life’! In one’s life, some people come and go but they remain inside your heart as if they are part of your life or they become part of your life. They cannot be separated from your life.

Let me confess and accept it. No matter what, no matter where you will be, you will always be a part of my life. But not the way you wanted to be. I cannot be your love. I might be your first love but I know; I cannot be your last love! You have to move on.

Whenever my life will be mentioned, they might not take or mention your name along with my name but I know you are part of my life. Never expected that such moment will come in my life when I am unable to decide what to do or what not to do.

But the Truth must be told! I never got even an iota of hint that you loved me!

I never loved you the way you wanted and you knew it from the very beginning yet you never stopped loving me.I know it from the core of my heart.

After you expressed your love; whenever you were nearby me,I felt awkward. I was not comfortable to be around you because you could never get what you really wanted from me, LOVE! And you knew the truth. 

I never wanted to express fake love just to make you happy by accepting your proposal and I never feigned either.  You knew about it. I am lucky to got an unconditional love from you. But I could not reciprocate the same.

Sometime if you tell the truth, it hurts the most. But if I had faked, it would have hurt you more. So I decided to hurt you by telling you the truth than making you happy with my lies. I know, you were hurt and upset when I told you the truth.

How could I accept the love from someone whom I never loved! How could I accept the love from someone for whom I never had that feeling for you. Yes, we really were good friends! And friends do change. We will be changed. I don't want to predict what kind of change that would be.

Honestly, I did not want to sound filmy saying we will always be friends. I don't know what name would be given to this relationship of ours in future but yes I will be there for you; always and forever, know not in what way.

I don't know what kind of relationship that would be. I don't know if you be happy without me. I don't know if Life be the same for you without me. I don't know if life be going on without me!  I don’t know!!

Life Must Go On !!!!!