Saturday, August 8, 2015

I Don't KNow !!!

If I don’t write right now; I will never be able to write it again in my life. Some moments in life can only be kept inside human’s heart. They cannot be revealed or shown. Such is the condition of Life. In fact, ‘Such is Life’! In one’s life, some people come and go but they remain inside your heart as if they are part of your life or they become part of your life. They cannot be separated from your life.


Let me confess and accept it. No matter what, no matter where you will be, you will always be a part of my life. But not the way you wanted to be. I cannot be your love. I might be your first love but I know; I cannot be your last love! You have to move on.

Whenever my life will be mentioned, they might not take or mention your name along with my name but I know you are part of my life. Never expected that such moment will come in my life when I am unable to decide what to do or what not to do.

But the Truth must be told! I never got even an iota of hint that you loved me!
I never loved you the way you wanted and you knew it from the very beginning yet you never stopped loving me.I know it from the core of my heart.

After you expressed your love; whenever you were nearby me,I felt awkward. I was not comfortable to be around you because you could never get what you really wanted from me, LOVE! And you knew the truth. 

I never wanted to express fake love just to make you happy by accepting your proposal and I never feigned either.  You knew about it. I am lucky to got an unconditional love from you. But I could not reciprocate the same.


Sometime if you tell the truth, it hurts the most. But if I had faked, it would have hurt you more. So I decided to hurt you by telling you the truth than making you happy with my lies. I know, you were hurt and upset when I told you the truth.

How could I accept the love from someone whom I never loved! How could I accept the love from someone for whom I never had that feeling for you. Yes, we really were good friends! And friends do change. We will be changed. I don't want to predict what kind of change that would be.


Honestly, I did not want to sound filmy saying we will always be friends. I don't know what name would be given to this relationship of ours in future but yes I will be there for you; always and forever, know not in what way.

I don't know what kind of relationship that would be. I don't know if you be happy without me. I don't know if Life be the same for you without me. I don't know if life be going on without me!  I don’t know!!

Life Must Go On !!!!!

Friday, August 7, 2015

Songs that are Close To MY Heart !!!


Sans MUSIC, the world is dead and lifeless. Imagine Life devoid of music! Music needs no language. Its language is universal! Music makes you feel, makes you sensible, understanding and sometime makes you cry too. And the truth is that no one on this earth dislikes music though they may disliking for particular music or genre but no human has a complete  disliking for music.
There are songs that touch our hearts and souls. There are songs that make us happy and sad. And there still are few songs that make us smile and cry!  And there are songs that are reminiscent of something or completely related to our actual life. Everyone has love and liking for particular song or songs, reasons may differ! Some go for words, some for meaning and some for their tunes. But at least, few songs are close, very close to our heart! Such is the power and impact of music.
Bheed Ke Beech Akela !
Here are few songs which are close to my heart. Every song is related to my life, my world, and my ups and down. These songs sometime make me low. These are the same songs that inspire me to go stand up for my cause. Their meaning is unfathomable for me. Sometime I miss to understand the actual meaning of the songs. Sometime I analyze them according to my life’s situation.
Rishtey Nayey Samjhaye

I am dedicating these songs to someone special who was, is and will always be close to my Life till by last breath.

Phoolon Ke Rang  Sey Dil Ki:
Chota Safar HO Lamba Safar ho
Sooni Dagar  Ho Ya mela………………
Yaad tu Aaye Mann Ho Jaye…………
Bheed ke Beech  Akela……………………

Tujhse Naaraz nahi Zingagee
Zindagee Tere………………………
Ghum Ney Humein…………………
Rishtey  Naye Samjhaye 

Mein Jahan Rahoon
Mein Jahan Rahoon Mein Kahin Bhi Hoon
Teri Yaad Saath Hai 
Kisi Sey Kahun Ya Nahin Kahun 
Yeh Jo Dil KI Baat Hai
Kahin Toh Dil Mein Yaadon Ki
Ek Suli Gad Jaati Hai
Kahin Har Ek Tasveer Bahut Hi Dhundli Pad Jati Hai
Koi Nai Duniya Ke Rangon Mein Khush Rehta Hai
Koi Sab Kuch Paake BHi Yeh Mann Hi Mann Kehta Hai

Lag Ja Galey
Humko Mili Hai AAj Ye Ghadiyan Nasib Sey
Ji Bhar Ke Dekh Lijiye Humko Qarib Sey
Phir Aap Ke Nasib Mein Ye Baat Ho Na Ho
Phir Is Janam Mein MUlakaat Ho Na HO 
Lag Ja Galey Ki Phir Yeh Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho 

Bin Tere Bin Tere( Reprise Version)
Teri Nigahon KE Teri Hi Raahon Ke
Kareeb Sey Gayee Zindagee
Tujhe Kyun Dekha Na Tujhe Kyun Jaana Na
Shikayatein Karun Ya Nahi
Bin Tere Bin Tere Bin Tere
Koi Khalish Hai Hawaon Mein
Bin Tere...............
Kahin Ek Tasveer Dhundhali Pad Jaati Hai ....
And the most special song that depicts the pain, the beauty and the reality (for me) is:

“Zindagi ke Safar Mein Gujar Jaatein Hain Jo Makaam Woh Feer Nahi Aate”.
Patjhad Main Jo Phool Murjha Jaate Hain
Woh Baharon Ke Aane Se Khiltey Nahi
Kuch Log Ek Roz Bichad Jaatey Hain
Woh Hazaaron Ke Aane Sey Miltey Nahin
Umr Bhar Chahe Koi Pukara Kare Unka Naam
Woh Phir Nahin Aate,Woh Phir Nahin Aate

I cried when I listened to it carefully for the first time while sitting beside my sick mother admitted at Hospital in Dibrugarh. 
These songs are my homage and my dedication to her who is not with me anymore. But these songs will always inspire me, motivate me as you used to when you were alive!
Koi Khalish Hai Hawaon Mein Bin Tere !!!!
Finally,Keep humming your favorite songs and sing them often even if you have Zero singing talent. Or else keep listening to your favorite numbers. Always be happy and make others happy.
Woh Hazaron Ke Aane  SeyMiltey Nahi...
 P.S: (Wrote this piece on June 21, 2014)

‘Dear Bohemian Man’: Simply Contemporary, Entertaining and Inspiring !!!


Talk poetry in Arunachal Pradesh; the only name that pop up among the poetry lovers might be Mamang Dai. Her River poems have really impressed many. However, state’s another budding poetess Subi Taba, is gradually making her presence felt with her newly launched anthology of poetry: ‘Dear Bohemian Man’.

It’s an anthology of 30 poems divided into two parts; Days and Nights with 15 poems each. Entire poems are all about love, of pain and happiness; of closeness and separation; of longing and desires.

Subi’s poetry can be categorized as confessional with touch of autobiographical elements. Use of simple language and heard phrases add charm to this anthology. The elements of mysticism, symbolism, pessimistic, optimistic are apparent; the entire poems are in blank verse. Though not as strong, profound and intense as Dai’s poetry but they are entertaining, impressive and pleasant reading.

In entire poems, readers find the speaker oscillating between the moments of pain and happiness. She yearns and longs something. Is that love or closeness of her lover? Readers may decide  better.  Though, personal and confessional, Subi’s poetry is contemporary. Sometime they describe about readers’ life and their situation.
In the end what remains is; readers are engulfed inside an envelope of love (both sadness and happiness).  Sometimes her pain is so intense that even the readers feel her misery and grief.

‘Dear Bohemian Man’ is indeed one of the most beautiful and the best poems where the speaker travels almost an entire planet within a short period taking the readers along including Darjeeling, the Great Wall of China, Greek, Indonesia, New York, and London that can be compared with Dr Bhupen Hazarika’s popular song of “Moi Eti Jajabor” (Assamese), “Ami Ek Jajabor”(Bengali) and “Haan  Aawara Hoon”( Hindi). 
Image Courtesy: Google
Here are few observations  I found while going through 'Dear Bohemian Man':

Some parts of ‘I Miss You’ remind ‘My Mother at Sixty Six’ by a reputed poetess Kamala Das.   ‘The Crying Girl’ talks about love, pain and happiness.  Stone, the shortest of all not even the complete sentence expresses about speaker’s pain and grief. But it’s entertaining, interesting and inspiring.  

'Dear Life' is so scientific when the speaker says:
They go hand in hand like Siamese twins
and there is no departure;  which is par  excellence to a metaphysical poem  Valediction by John  Donne when he  compares  his love with  a compass:
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul the fixed foot, make no show
To move, but doth, if others do.

Nights poems are mostly sad and upsetting but our sweetest songs are those tell of the saddest thoughts.  North Face is mysterious that one wonders if the speaker was in love with someone belonging from North India. ‘Sometimes’ is full of similes; beautiful yet painful: Last memory of a smile in the dead eyes.

Nights poems ‘Afterwards’ has perfectly balanced the Days poems 'Stone' which is similar to William Blake’s poems Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience.  Both ‘Stone’ and ‘Afterwards’ are short beautiful short poems.

Seven Years of Him is captivating and scintillating. An element of curiosity is maintained in the poem. Though bit symbolic and mysterious but amusing. When the speaker says: Running with Colours in His hands (Does that talk about modern day tattoos in his hand or the colours of Holi, the festival of the Hindus?).
Proper growth and development is established. Indeed it is one of the best poems in the anthology that will bring smiles on reader’s face.
 “I said I wanted my boy to wear blue
But before we could start a new conversation
It was time to leave, but he asked me: can I see you again?
I smiled and said yes.
That evening he was wearing blue.”

Released in 2015, published by Notion Press, ‘Dear Bohemian Man’ will create a place for Subi Taba among the state’s bright poetesses. The book costs only Rs 150. Finally, Dear Bohemian Man will not disappoint you if thinking of buying it.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

IN SEARCH OF SOLACE !

Finished reading a bulky and heavy coffee table book “In Search of Solace” written for promoting tourism of Arunachal Pradesh.
It’s an interesting reading. Readers and tourists will come to know about state’s many unknown and less travelled beautiful places besides helping them to improve their general knowledge and information about Arunachal Pradesh.
Every chapter will transport you to different distant land with nothing around you but beautiful pristine natural beauty abundantly found in the state.
The authors have described and mentioned state’s beauty in such a way that every travel lovers and even the readers will be fascinated to make a trip to Arunachal Pradesh after reading this book. Detail information about important visiting places has been beautifully described.

Even after finished reading this book, the beauty of Arunachal Pradesh will virtually linger in your mind.
Images and experiences of those diversities including those chill water, lush green, misty mountain, thrilling hanging bridges, innocent people, gushing of mighty rivers, splashing of streams, colourful and enchanting festivals, enthralling chanting of the priests during different rituals, diversity of rare fauna and flora remain fresh and refreshing. One can virtually experience the diversity of Arunachal Pradesh while going through In Search of Solace.

However, all said and read; the book is not  sans mistakes. Many spelling mistakes in names and places are there.
For example, the author has mentioned Narmi Matmur Jamoh as Narmi Manmur Jamoh (page 84). Chongkham in Namsai district has been incorrectly mentioned as Chowkham though it was formerly known as Chowkham.
While mentioning about a brave warrior of the Indian Army’s 2 Jammu and Kashmir Rifles Shere Thapa who fought against the Chinese in 1962; within a paragraph Shere Thapa becomes Siri Thapa (page 227)creating confusion among the readers.
One of the places in Anjaw districts, Kibithoo has been mentioned as Kibithoo and at the same time it been mentioned as Kibitoo.
Two inappropriate images have also been inserted while describing about the beauty of Anini in Dibang Valley; the Place of Idu tribes. Photographs clearly show that they either belong from Lohit or Anjaw district (Page 137)
Equal distribution of space is not given while mentioning many places and districts. Some districts and places are described at lengths while few are given only couple of paragraphs. Not much has been covered about Palin, Sangram, Koloriang, Lohit and Anjaw.
Describing about the importance of Thukpa, the author mentions about the Nyishis of Doimukh in Papum Pare district, seems inappropriate. The writers could have mentioned some other food items commonly consumed by the Nyishis in place of Thukpa.
Even I am confused if outsiders are allotted land in this state or not when writes mentions about Daporijo in Upper Subansiri  district, “The woman who migrated 20 years ago. Now the local tribal have taken her North Indian breakfast stable so well that not only her business roaring but she has got some land for herself”.
The blunder that I find in this book is mentioned below when editorial says:
“You would be delighted by the pastoral Khampti community in Dibang Valley and the hospitality of a people who even today plough their fields with help of Elephants”. The Khampti are found not in Dibang Valley but are the inhabitants of newly created district Namsai bifurcated from Lohit district.
While trekking through Namdapha, the writer finds, “Except squirrels we have hardly seen any other mammals and given the nature of the terrain, I am not very much optimistic (page116).The state government must put her attentions towards this issue to address the concern.
However, if these mistakes are overlooked, this coffee table book is an interesting reading that says many positive aspects of the state from tourism point of view.
One of the authors was so mesmerized by the beauty of snow clad mountain pass Mayodiya around 60 kilometres away from Roing in Dibang valley when the writer says, “Why film makers rush to Europe for shoot when they can get the best sight here in India.”
This bulky coffee table book is the compilation of these authors Aruraag Mallick, Sankar Sridhar, Anup Sharma, Anand Banerjee, Vaibhav Todi, Hamari Jamatia, Priyanka Joshi,Anup Kutty and Prena Singh Bindra.
Besides the writers themselves, Priya Ganapathy, Arif Siddiqui, Doli Ete, Vikram Gogoi, Jitendra Singh, Parvin Singh, Dhritiman Deori, Eric Kilby, Mike Jhonsing, Pankaj Kumar and Raju Singh have contributed their photographs.
However, how I wish some local writers and travelers were also involved and engaged in editorial board in making this coffee table book.
The forward notes are given by Pema Khandu (A Diverse experience), PD Sona (Jewel of the North East), Sonam Chombay (Go on an Adventure) and Taru Talo (Festival of Life) which are not only interesting but portrays true positive picture of Arunachal tourism.
Released in 2014, this coffee table book In Search of Solace is published and produced by CMYK Printech Ltd with the Government of Arunachal Pradesh.
Finally minor yet important drawback that I observed is the price of this coffee table is missing if any case anyone desires to buy this book.