I Lied To Him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Sir what would you do after your retirement? I asked an elderly person from Manipur whom I met in Guwahati, Assam, during a work shop on Photo-Documentation organized by Photo Division Ministry of India in 2008.

“I will buy a small piece of land in Assam and will spend my rest of my life peacefully”, was his straight and effortless answer.

I was surprised. I said, “Every person desires to spend his life in one’s native place but yours is opposite. You wish to remain away from your native place. Politely he replied, “Son, I have survived enough in Manipur, in my own land, in my native place hoping that a day would come when everything will be fine but nothing changed.”

From childhood to this day, I have seen lots of changes. It is saddening to see Manipur going these way killings, rapes, murders and suffering. I feel choked in my own land. I have go through unexplainable suffering in my own land. I want to live here yet I cannot. So I no longer want to survive here.

Once, Manipur was really a beautiful state. Now I find it the ugliest. However I love her with all her ugliness. Yet, how long will I love her ugliness? I have seen innocent person turning into the most devilish individual.

I have spent my childhood, boyhood in Manipur. I became a husband and then a father in Manipur. I never wanted my children to experiences I went through but they too know the reality. I don’t know what they feel but I don’t want to remain in my own native land, he told in a single breath. I might get some piece of peace in others’ land. I want to feel the taste of peaceful ambiance so what if it has to be in others’ place? People might consider me weak, coward, or even escapist.

However don’t I have right to spend my life the way I want?” he asked. I said nothing.

Finally he asked, “Heard that Arunachal Pradesh is a Peaceful State? I said with a pride a Big YES. But today I realized I lied to him.

N:B:- I wrote this on October 11, 2011

And Miles to Go Beofre I Sleep.....

Here is a great poem of Gulzar, immortalized in the movie “Aandhi”. People may start their life’s journey from seemingly equal levels, but some achieve great heights in their careers where other settle into very ordinary lives. The metaphor of high speed highways and tiny side by lanes is so apt. Who were equal once are now at such different planes that they cannot come closer even if they so wish.....

Is mod se jaate hain

Kuchh sust qadam raste kuchh tez qadam raahe

Patthar ki haveli ko shishe ke gharaundo mein

Tinko ke nasheman tak is mod se jaate hain

Aa Is mod se jaate hain

Aandhi ki tarha ud kar ik raah guzarti hai

Sharmaati huwi koyi qadmo se utarti hai

In reshmi raaho mein ik raah to woh hogi

Tum tak jo pahonchti hai is mod se jaati hai

Is mod se jaate hain....

Ik door se aati hai paas aake palat-ti hai

Ik raah akeli si ruktii hai na chalti hai

Ye soch ke baithhi hu ik raah to woh hogi

Tum tak jo pahonchti hai is mod se jaati hai

Is mod se jaate hain....

Kuchh sust qadam raste kuchh tez qadam raahe

Patthar ki haveli ko shishe ke gharaundo mein

Tinko ke nasheman tak is mod se jaate hain

AaIs mod se jaate hain....

N:B:- These words are not mine except the Image!

Women of the Twilight Zone

Around 580 sex workers have been identified in the capital complex by NGO Turbu Daleh Multipurpose Cooperative Society (TDMCS), but the actual number of such women could be far higher.

Based at Prem Nagar here, the TDMCS, which was established in May 2001, is currently working on one of its various projects, called Ajen, through which the NGO seeks to halt and reverse the spread of HIV/AIDS in Arunachal Pradesh, Ajen project manager Asha Dev informed this correspondent.

The TDMCS has so far counseled 435 female sex workers in the capital complex. Out of these, 201 have been referred to an Integrated Counseling and Testing Centre (ICTC) for regular check-up. The NGO has so far distributed 71,150 condom packets among sex workers.

Project Ajen was started in February 2008 and has completed a year since. Initially, it was very difficult to convince the sex workers to go for counseling, Dev said, since they were very reluctant, in the fear that counseling might reveal them to be HIV positive.

The NGO regularly monitors these women, provides them regular counseling, and encourages them to visit the ICTCs. On the touchy issue of AIDS, Dev said only one girl was identified as being HIV positive. However, the girl disappeared once she came to know of her status and her whereabouts remains unknown.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, some of the sex workers revealed that besides financial constraints, ‘failure in romance’ pushed them into prostitution.

One of them is a 27-year-old, who said though she was never interested in the trade, terrible need of money, coupled with a divorce from her husband, pushed her into it.

She has children to look after. Though she owns a small clothes business of her own, scanty earning from the business is not enough to keep their bodies and souls together.

She said there are around 20-30 others in her ‘network’. On being queried, she said she would continue in the trade as long as her body permits, without a second thought.

Since she is new to the trade – she started out 4 months ago – she earns around Rs 2-3000 per month.

“Kabhi kabhi toh khud kharcha karna padta hai,” she says, meaning that sex workers sometimes actually pay the conveyance fare for ‘clients’.

She knows about HIV/AIDS. When asked, she replied in the manner of someone who had memorized the definition of the syndrome: “It is spread through having sex with a person who is an HIV positive. There is a high risk of getting HIV/AIDS if one keeps multiple sexual partners; from HIV positive pregnant woman to her baby in the womb, and through use of drugs and unsterilized syringes.”

Another woman, aged 23, who also runs a small clothes business besides providing sex clients, claimed that she tested HIV negative twice.

She has chosen this trade to supplement her income and assist her family. She has to look after her parents, younger brothers and a sister. No one except some of her friends knows about her ‘work’. In fact, her parents are still in the darkness about their daughter’s other business.

She, too, has a network of 10-20 others. “We sometime party together,” she said.

Surprisingly, she revealed that she joined the profession when she studying in Class VI. Presently, she earns a handsome amount every month, ranging from Rs 10-15000 per month.

She revealed that she also travels to different parts of the North East for her purposes. Her clients are mostly mature men from well-to-do families. Some are young, some students. All in all, her clients’ ages range from 19-40 plus years. Apparently, many clients come to them and share stories of despair and misery.

The surprise that she presented was that sometimes these sex workers offer their services ‘on credit,’ if the clients are helpful and friendly.

The clients come through pimps, but sometimes through friends. While the pimps obviously take their ‘cut’, the friends sometimes do not, asking for a good treat instead.

Most of the sex workers know about sexually transmitted diseases and promote the use of condoms among their clients, the duo said. Some of them are demanding and dominating and many do not like to wear condom, they said.

On the possibility of a sex worker becoming romantically involved with a client, the general consensus appears to be in the negative.

The second woman said she was deceived many times in love. “I do not believe in love. Even if someone comes for marriage, I will never hide my past to him. He will marry me if he loves me. If not, no problem.”

Claiming that many of their clients are from the police department, the duo called it a question of morality when policemen raid hotel to arrest sex workers.

A woman who earlier used to work as a pimp informed that though she was never involved in any sex work she provided girls for clients.

“I was paid good money for arranging sex workers for these clients. Sometimes on a 50-50 ratio, depending on the looks and smartness of the girls,” she informed.

The former pimp sometimes suffers from pangs of guilt. She said it was the want of money that forced her into becoming a pimp; she worries what would happen if the society came to know about her past.

The two sex workers applauded the TDMCS. The NGO sometimes provides honorarium financial assistance to those sex workers who have now become its volunteers. In return the sex workers help the NGO to track other sex workers.

Dev said these women should be brought under the observation of the NGO, and that people should not discriminate against them.

Though these women do not want to come out of their closets, the constant fear in their minds would turn into reality if by any chance they happen to encounter their own relatives or friends while ‘at work’.

For now, they live in the twilight zone, neither in the light nor in darkness, as they walk the road of uncertainty to an unsure future.

N:B:-This Article was Published in Arunachal Front on June 26, 2009.

The Broken Promise!!!

I saw some small children flying colourful kites from their roof top from my office parking place. The first thought that came to me was, the spaced has squeezed or contracted to confined roof top from the free space that we used to get when children.

All free space has been replaced by concrete jungle. Even the country areas are being transformed to RRC buildings and cemented houses! What made me happy was that they were looking so happy, satisfied and contended within the boundary of confined space.

By the way the matter is not if their happiness is confined or open. What is more important for me here is that those children reminded me of a promise that I made to one of my friends. I had promised that I would make a kite for my friend and the promise is still pending. I know I will never be able to make any kite for my friend. I did not keep my promise!!!!!

Only Hindus are Allowed!!??????????????

It’s true; Indians are too devotional and religious. Their faith on religious belief cannot be questioned! What they want is blessings of gods and goddesses. Personally, I have nothing against their devotion and faith.Moreover, I've no right to judge them either. I too have some faith in some kind of belief.

Come to the point! My recent visit to Jagannath temple at Puri district in Odisha was really horrible. I’ll never forget the experience and feeling that I went through while entering the temple. One has to pass through various mental pressure just to get the simple glances of Lord Jagannath and two lords accompanying him (one is Subhadra, other I have no idea and did not try to know either).

The experience will last forever!! First and foremost, what I really didn’t like were so-called priests. The way they demand money or cash from visitors is really sickening and disgusting as if they are there to market the glimpse of gods! They demand money without giving any second thought, as if it is their birth right. You deny the demands; words of curse will follow you! Is it obligatory to offer money to the priests to get the glimpse the lords you want to pray to?

I didn’t give even a single penny to them ever after repeated demands and plea. Inside my heart I was really troubled for few minutes when the pundits almost cursed me and said, “Khaali haath aaya hai Khaali haath hi jayega”. Does one need to offer cash or wealth to get the quick look of the lords? It’s really very-very ridiculous and absurd.

It’s for sure, devotees will never put an end to their visit to the temple and those priests will never stop demanding money from the visitors.

Why too much commercialization in the name of Lord Jagannath? It is okay if one desires and willing to offer the money whatever amount he likes. But, demanding shamelessly did not go under my shoes. Each day lakhs and lakhs of devotees visit the temple. Most of them are god-fearing and will never dare to deny to pundits’ demands.

Finally, what does god mean? Does he recognize if someone is Hindu or Muslim or Christian or Buddhist? We have been taught since our childhood that he loves all equally. His love and affection is for all irrespective of communities but the most shocking thing that I saw and experienced was that it is clearly written that only Hindus are allowed to enter the temple premises.

I was also stopped (due to my chinky looks)for sometime and they inquired and asked where I was from and what my religion was!

What I want to say is, “If you are not religious pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase do not visit Jagannath temple!!!!!!.”